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Well there's really nothing new to report on little Danny's progress.  They doctors have increased his feeds to 16ml every 2hrs (I believe).  Other than that he's been really settled all day, apart from when I was there which is just typical.  On the flip side come Wednesday Julie will have been in hospital for a whopping 10 weeks, looking back now I don't know whether I can remember what it's like to live together. 

When I was at the hospital the other day I picked up a leaflet, Julie also got me a copy, which aims to help fathers of babies that are on the neonatal unit try to handle things.  What tends to happen is that all of the attention goes on the mother and the child from friends and family and the father is all too often overlooked.  At the end of the day he is the one that is left taking care of everything while mum is with baby where she should be. 

You suddenly find that your whole life as you know it is no longer there, you have to go to work (if you cant get time off), you have to take care of the washing, ironing, cleaning.  If there are children at home already then you have to sort out them and in my own case this has proven to be a complete work of art, the help that we have had in doing this has been great, some more than others but especially Tom's Nana Sue.  Without her we would not have been able to have Kyle & Bridie here for three weeks and it certainly would be almost impossible for me to continue working.  You may also find yourself in the position of explaining to your other children what is happening to their new baby brother or sister.  I was quite lucky in that because we knew of the forthcoming problems prior to the birth we were able to prepare the children, as much as you can, for what would be happening when he was born. 

Then on top of all of this you have the emotional roller coaster, and it really is a roller coaster, that comes with having a sick child.  This alone could very easily split a family in two, there have been times where I have been at the end of my tether and then Julie has fallen out with me usually over something completely insignificant like socks.  Or I will make one of my usual jokes, albeit they're not that great, and Julie will take it seriously and get upset.  These are the turmoils that ALL parents that are on a neonatal unit will have to face at one time or another.  I guess what I am trying to say is that there is a lot more to these situations than first meets the eye and that while "dad" may appear to be a "rock" he may just need a little help or a shoulder to cry on.  Should you ever know a "dad" who is in this type of situation take the time to ask how he's doing because he probably needs to know that people care about him too.

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